Podcast

Latter-day Saints Dealing With Pornography in Marriage

Still updating show notes from earlier episodes.

For now, enjoy listening, and look for the show notes soon.

Episode 11: Feelings Don’t Come From Roses. They Come From Thoughts.

Show Notes:

Valentine’s Day, like other holidays, can be triggering for people. Some people will be more likely to look at porn around holidays. Some people just can’t seem to have the Valentine’s Day experience they dream of. 

Join certified life coaches Danny and Lindsay Poelman as they discuss why that is and why can it seem even more complicated in a marriage relationship. How to be aware of what you might be doing, that you think is helping, but may actually be hurting. Some alternative approaches that may get you closer to the results you actually want in your marriage.

For more information from Lindsay: lindsaypoelman.com

For Lindsay’s Guide to Processing Pain, click here.

Episode 10: How to Calm Down

Show Notes:

Many of us want to calm down when we feel unpleasant emotions but our approach often makes it worse. How to calm down by allowing the UNcalm first and working through it in a more healthy way. A way that helps with stopping porn (or other addiction-like behaviors), with your relationship with yourself and relationships with others, including marriage.

A quote from the life coach of a kung fu master.

Some practical techniques discussed. But if we only focus on actions to take then we miss out on sustainable long term results. How life coaching can help you address your emotions from the inside out rather than getting stuck on the outside in.

How to increase your awareness and rewire your brain by tapping into the present moment. Let it be a process as you seek improvement in your relationship with anxiety, depression, fear, shame, lack of confidence, hopelessness, and any other emotions that are difficult for you right now.

For more information from Lindsay: lindsaypoelman.com

Episode 9: Am I Crazy?

Show Notes:

Many of us want to calm down when we feel unpleasant emotions but our approach often makes it worse. How to calm down by allowing the UNcalm first and working through it in a more healthy way. A way that helps with stopping porn (or other addiction-like behaviors), with your relationship with yourself and relationships with others, including marriage.

A quote from the life coach of a kung fu master.

Some practical techniques discussed. But if we only focus on actions to take then we miss out on sustainable long term results. How life coaching can help you address your emotions from the inside out rather than getting stuck on the outside in.

How to increase your awareness and rewire your brain by tapping into the present moment. Let it be a process as you seek improvement in your relationship with anxiety, depression, fear, shame, lack of confidence, hopelessness, and any other emotions that are difficult for you right now.

For more information from Lindsay: lindsaypoelman.com

Episode 9: Am I Crazy?

Show Notes:

A discussion about ways that a we sometimes doubt ourselves or see ourselves as broken. For the one using porn: “Why does part of me want this and part of me not? Why can’t I stop when I try with willpower? Am I not strong enough? Diseased? Defective?” For the one married to the someone secretly using porn: “Was I wrong about him? About our marriage? About what I thought we had all this time? If I missed this, what else could I be missing?”

“Once an addict, always an addict” may not be that useful for everyone to believe about themselves.

For many people, we need a better solution than 12 steps.

It’s okay to feel crazy. Just because you feel crazy doesn’t mean you are crazy or that something is wrong with you.

Some helpful information/ideas to navigate these challenges.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.com

For Danny’s free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Episode 8: Managing Overwhelm

Show Notes:

What it was like for Danny when telling Lindsay about his struggles with pornography. What it was like for Lindsay managing life as a working mom and caretaker. How we struggled with overwhelm. What made it worse? What helped? Patterns we noticed. We discuss some practical approaches to managing overwhelm, sharing some specific examples. Some strategies you can begin implementing simply and right away.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.com

For Danny’s free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Episode 7: Trust

Episode 6: Boundaries

Episode 5: Don’t Need to “Fix Him” to Feel Better

Episode 4: How to Feel Safe

Episode 3: Divorce or Not?

Episode 2: Dealing With Shame

Episode 1: Telling Her

Show Notes:

Why are we doing this podcast? To help people who are struggling in shame, silently, with something that affects so many people. Yet no one wants to talk about it. So if we can talk about this as a couple, committed, and loving each other, in an open empowering way, then we want to. What it was like for Danny when he first told Linz about using pornography. What it was like for Lindsay. What helped? How we can accept, appreciate it and thank our process for what it was.
For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.com
For Danny’s free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:
https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

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