Intentional Healing

Once you really boil it down to what is creating all of your mental wounds and emotional injuries, you realize it is your own thoughts that are the cause.

And then someone like me tells you that your thoughts are optional. They are your choice. Hearing that used to really piss me off!

Then I got over myself and started reclaiming my power by taking ownership for my pain, ownership for my thoughts.

This power allows me to heal. And to do it more intentionally.

If you want to learn to stop looking at porn, you need to learn to intentionally heal.

Not only healing from past injuries, but future injuries as well.

Healing is Essential to Performing at a Higher Level

I watch professional basketball players a lot. Think of how nice it must be to not only have people to help them heal from the big injuries that take them out of the game.

But also to have someone there to help you with all of the little injuries that happen from showing up for games, and even just practicing or training.

A lot of time, money, and effort is spent on the process of healing. This allows them to continue to perform at a professional level, with the best of the best.

It allows them to experience and create the best basketball on earth.

It also allows them to avoid more serious injuries because they know how to stay on top of the little ones.

I think the athletes who perform with greatness consistently, over long periods of time, know better than anybody what their body needs and when.

For optimal and sustainable performance, an individual must be his own first and best proponent for healing.

85% = 100%  (What?!)

Ask any one of these professionals, and they will tell you that they are almost never operating at 100%. Injuries are part of the game.

How often do we attempt to wait until we are 100% to get back in the game. Maybe we have the wrong idea about this “100%” idea.

I think that the real 100% for someone who is in the game might be in the 75%-90% range. So maybe it’s more like: 85% = 100%.

And they keep getting in the game, inviting more injuries into their life. They wouldn’t be where they are if they had been trying to avoid injuries.

These professionals have gotten really good at this whole process of:

  • playing the game with a willingness to get injured
  • getting injured
  • acknowledging the injury for what it is
  • intervening with the healing process as is necessary
  • waiting for it to heal
  • ultimately healing from the injury
  • getting back in the game

They do it as they go. There’s a reason why the fan-favorites are often the players who show up despite their injury or sickness. It speaks to something inside of us.

Part of me wishes Michael Jordan would have sat out of the NBA finals against the Utah Jazz when he had the flu. And part of me is inspired by it.

Our Bodies Want to Heal (this includes your brain)

I can cut open my skin and my body will close it back up. My body knows what to do. It bleeds, clots, sends the appropriate chemicals over, and repairs the breach, layer by layer.

When we sleep, our bodies repair things like the muscles, heart, brain, and lungs.

During sleep, the body does things to maintain optimally functioning metabolic processes, blood oxygen saturation, and the cooling process of sweating required during exercise.

During the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep, my brain processes trauma and integrates my day-to-day experiences and memories in a healing way.

REM sleep with dreaming “allows [us] to move forward into a new emotional future, and not be enslaved by a traumatic past.” (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker). It’s like built in life coaching.

It’s amazing what built-in capacity our bodies have to heal! At least to a certain extent.

Sometimes the Body Needs Help

Our bones can break and grow back together. And can even grow back together stronger than before. Amazing!

Looking at porn is just a symptom of an underlying “broken bone” that can be set and healed.

Focusing only on the porn is like focusing only on the pain from a broken bone. You can throw as many pain pills at it as you like, which will help dull the pain, but if you don’t set the bone, it won’t heal.

Causal coaching is what I do. Together, you and I treat the cause of you looking at porn, not just the symptom. This way, you address the real issue and get real change with real healing.

And, like your bones, you end up stronger than you ever were before.

When We Get In the Way of Healing

If I cut my skin and rub dirt and glass on it 3 times a day while poking it with sticks, it won’t heal. It will probably get worse.

Looking at porn instead of processing emotions in a healthy way is like doing this. It prevents healing.

Doing this prevents you from living life at the level of fulfillment, enrichment, and sustainability that you are really capable of.

Why Intentionally Heal?

As you learn the skills of intentional healing, you become better equipped to:

  1. get in the game
  2. create
  3. and experience a fulfilling life

If you want to learn to stop looking at porn, you need to learn to intentionally heal.


Need help intentionally healing?
Check out my How to Stop Looking at Porn Program by scheduling a free mini-session with me. Find out more about a mini-session: click here.

And, as always, feel free to email me at danny@dannypoelman.com with any questions or just to connect.

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