Proven Porn Prevention Protocol

Having a written protocol is crucial to your success. It cannot be someone else’s protocol. It needs to be yours or it will not work.

Did you know that we have a finite amount of willpower? It will literally deplete from making decisions all day long.

Also, people who have the most self-control are actually using less willpower overall. People with less self-control are using more willpower overall. That’s because, as James Clear puts it, they “fall to their systems.”

If you decide your protocol upfront, it will help you preserve your willpower for when you really need it.

With a protocol, rather than deciding how to handle each individual moment and urge and situation, you have a written down, pre-decided plan to refer to. And all you need to do is trust that your pre-decision is what you want more than whatever urge you feel for porn in the moment.

I’m about to answer your introductory questions about creating a Proven Porn Prevention Protocol. 

Mine is called the Poelman Proven Porn Prevention Protocol…and is Prior Proper Preparation Preventing Poor Performance Potently and Powerfully. (Couldn’t stop myself there).

What is a Protocol?

  • This is your written roadmap, customized for yourself.
  • It is deciding beforehand what you will do and being prepared.
  • It is a detailed plan that includes all possible foreseen obstacles and strategies to overcome them.

Why?

  • Learning to stop looking at porn without having a clear protocol for yourself is like going for a bullseye while blindfolded. You need to practice keeping your eyes on the target or you will miss. You may get lucky sometimes but if this is really important to you you won’t want to leave it to chance.
  • This is a way of keeping your upper brain (prefrontal cortex) in charge over your lower brain (lizard brain). Your lower brain may be good at creating strong impulses for porn in the moment but it can’t plan ahead like your upper brain can.
  • If they were x-men, your lower brain would be Wolverine. His passion and impulsive, quick acting gets him far and does amazing things. He’s larger than life and exciting. But he would never win against the more calculated, mild-mannered, wise, Professor Xavier (upper brain). Fully developed, well-trained Professor X will win over Wolverine every time.
  • Likewise, when properly utilized, the power of the upper brain can win every time over the lower brain. It just takes practice, time, and repetition.
  • To have control, we want the upper brain to always be in charge of consumption of false pleasures like porn.
  • Let’s play to the strengths of the upper brain.

How?

  • Write it down.
  • Be clear on your definitions. It’s one thing to say “I’m going to stop looking at porn.” It’s another to define what exactly you consider to be pornography. How will you define pornography as it pertains to your goals.
  • I recommend referring to any sexual self-stimulation as masturbation. And orgasm is a separate thing from this. So there is pornography, masturbation, and orgasm to consider as a starting point.
  • How much porn/masturbation will you do? If none, write that in your protocol. What about orgasms?
  • If you are just trying to limit your porn use, how much will you use? What kind? How long? Where? Why? And make yourself always plan it in detail at least 24 hrs in advance, writing it down.
  • What situations will you put yourself in? How will you best succeed?
  • What obstacles do you anticipate arising? How will you handle those?
  • Borrow ideas from others, sure, but make the decision that it is yours. And remake that decision over and over.
  • Don’t put so much detail in it that it overwhelms you and takes an hour to read. But include enough detail so that you can have a very clear picture of what you are going for in your efforts.
  • Be honest and clear with yourself. Notice if you are trying to trick yourself. If you notice this, remove any ambiguity that you can from your protocol so it’s not a question.

When?

  • I recommend reading/tweeking your protocol at least every day, especially in the beginning. Or as long as it takes.
  • If you need to review your protocol every day for the rest of your life to find success, would you do it?
  • Plan ahead to review it at times coming up when you know you might be triggered.
  • There is no right answer for how frequent to review it. If daily, I recommend the morning. The point is, do what works for you, whether that’s 6 times a day, once a month, or somewhere in the middle.

Where?

  • I keep mine in a note on my phone, tablet, and computer.
  • If you are more prone to use a certain device for porn, plan to review your protocol somewhere else.
  • If you need to, write it down on a paper, or print it out, and carry a hard copy with you in your pocket.
  • The point here is, you want to have it on you and/or readily available at all times to be ready for those surprise urges.

Lastly

Commit as hard as you can to your protocol.

Don’t try to remove all access to porn from your life and the world. You can always find access if you really want it. Instead, have a plan of how to handle urges when they do come.

You will absolutely have urges to go off protocol. There is no way around this. But urges can’t hurt you. Expect more urges in the beginning. Sometimes they will surprise you.

You will make mistakes. You might go off protocol. Don’t judge yourself for it. Be a scientist about it. Dig into the details of what happened, raising your awareness of what got you there.

If something doesn’t work, cut it out. Let your protocol evolve over time.

Tell yourself you’re in this for the long-run.

Be creative with it.

How can you make it fun and attractive?

Having a protocol can mean that you are taking control of your life and that you have big balls to go after a goal like this. Tell yourself, I’m strong for choosing this protocol. I am ready for anything.


For guidance on implementing your protocol along with its companion tools, check out my How to Stop Looking at Porn Program by scheduling a free mini-session with me. What are you waiting for? Click here.

For a free jumpstart on learning the skill of not looking at porn check out my guide:  “How to Stop Looking at Porn.”

 

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