The Most Important Parts of the Free Guide on “How to Stop Looking at Porn”

I wanted to shorten it and tell you some of the highlights.

If you opted in to my email list, I sent you over the How to Stop Looking at Porn Guide. I spent a lot of time on that to distill down everything about this subject into a packet that could be most helpful to anyone struggling with stopping looking at pornography. You want to stop, but don’t know how.

In the guide, the 3 main topics covered are:

  1. Why you desire pornography
  2. Why you want to stop but can’t
  3. How to stop looking at porn (with actual techniques)

I want to make sure that you have not only read the How to Stop Looking at Porn Guide, but that you get some of these most important pieces from the guide.

Some of the highlights from the packet

Highlight 1:

“In the moment, your lower brain thinks looking at porn is more important than anything else. But in your upper brain, you want to stop looking at porn. This creates cognitive dissonance, which is very uncomfortable. What do you do to solve this stressful feeling? Look at porn. So trying to stop looking at porn actually strengthens a whole other pattern.”

Highlight 2:

“You need to know you are powerful:

  • No matter how practiced, efficient, or strong your animal brain is, it is NOTHING compared to your human brain.
  • Your lower brain is powerless when put against your upper brain’s ability to change what you believe, what you think, and how you respond.
  • There is nothing the lower brain can do without the consent of the prefrontal cortex.”

Highlight 3:

“Important Distinctions

  • Urge = desire to look at porn that seems powerful and urgent. But it is just vibrations in your body and will not hurt you.
  • White-knuckling = resisting and reacting to the feeling of desire to look at porn. Fighting directly against the urge using will power that will give out eventually. This is like trying to put the saliva back in Pavlov’s dogs’ drooling mouths.
  • Allowing an urge = allow the desire-feeling to be there without fighting it or rewarding it. Like not scratching an itch and just letting the itch go away in it’s own time.”

Skills covered

Skill 1: Allow an urge without rewarding it
Skill 2: Identify thoughts causing the urge and get intentional
Skill 3: Decide ahead of time with prefrontal cortex.

Reminder

I also want to remind you that a mini session, which is totally free, can help you decide if you want to take this work to the next level by working with a coach. It is online and can be done from any location you want.

This work can most definitely be done on your own, but I highly recommend you consider doing it with someone to support you. There is something powerful about having someone on your side to help you navigate the waters of stopping looking at pornography.

Often, a coach is just what you need to keep you accountable to the work and also to help you see patterns that might be “too close” and familiar to recognize. We all have blind spots.

The call will last 15-30 minutes and is simply a conversation about where you are now, where you want to go, and how I might be able to help you get the result you want through my How to Stop Looking at Porn Program.

Scheduling it is so simple. Just choose a time slot that works for you. There are a few optional questions that can give me an idea where you are at with things.

If it feels hard to take this step, don’t feel bad. Your brain is designed to resist change and hang on to it’s continued access to those big amounts of dopamine from porn (and usually masturbation).

But if you are reading this, there is probably part of you that really wants change. Learning to trust that part of your brain (prefrontal cortex) is a crucial part of this process.

Notice the resistance, tell yourself it’s okay, and take that step forward in the direction you really want.

Book an appointment with me here.

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